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Monday, March 14, 2011

Manifesto

Where I am right now is the result of a long, strange trip that took me from Bitter Single Cat Lady/yuppie management consultant to Stay at Home Mom on the wrong coast.  By “long”, I mean the transformation took less than a year and a half.  And by “strange” I mean “the best thing that I could ever have imagined happening to me, which is rather ironic given that I’d dismissed marriage/kids as not being in the cards for me”.

And no, I didn’t need to read a copy of The Secret:  You try going on date after date with guys who follow Sex and the City far more closely than any heterosexual male should.  And without delving too deeply into my health history, let’s just say that two pink lines on the EPT achieved without medical intervention was a pretty big, although awesome and much welcomed, surprise.

I imagine I’ll always identify more with The Office than with Desperate Housewives.  That said, as we speak I’m typing one-handed on the crappy, half-decade-old computer I’d planned to replace this year, using the other arm to cradle my one-month old Pillbug.  He’s been going through a clingy phase the past month. Strangely, I’m right-handed but am typing with my left since, oddly, I maneuver the keyboard better that way. 

You’re about to tab to the next page, unsure you can stomach yet another blog about the life and times of a smug stay at home mom?
Cut me some slack.  This blog isn’t:
  • My armchair quarterbacking of what I’d do if I were: running Libya or casting the next Real Housewives of Mudville, IA;
  • Esoteric, uncomfortably introspective, and wholly uninteresting brain vomit about my self-actualization journey;
  • An exaggerated-to-the-point-of-fictionalized account of how great my life is, how perfect my husband/marriage/family is, or how much stuff we have;
  • The ironic commentary of an unemployed faux-Ivy grad camping out in her mom’s basement till she gets a book deal (Mostly because, I’m not that ironic, nor do I live with my mom); 
  • Baby’s every blink, twitch, and fart and just how precious and much better than your child he is;
  • Self-righteous bombasting about how my choice to do X makes me a better mother/wife/woman/person than you.
Still reading?  What I will delve into:
  • My adventures and misadventures as a management consultant (on the cat lady track) in Liberal Yuppieland turned stay at home mom in Sunny Republicanville, with my trademark snark, sarcasm, and political incorrectess;
  • And whatever else I feel like exploring.  Likely, renegade crafts, Siberian cats and why they are inherently superior to all other feline/canine beings, helpful household hints such as how to get iced coffee stains out of your neonate’s onesies, and other seemingly random miscellanea. It is after all, my blog.
So sit back and enjoy the ride! :)

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